| woke up really early today again....coz of my sister's alarm......and was thinking about myself for the whole morning..... my mum wrote me a letter today, she said she had a dream ytd , she was taking me to school and we were so happy.....ya......I rmb that....and I miss the time when i was still a little gal...wt's in my mind was dadi,mami,sisters,food,fun,tv...no more than all these.....but when i grow up....i face more temptations....i learn more different kinds of things....n meet different people.....my life is no longer that simple, i learn not to trust people that easily...i learn how to cheat my parents...i learn to do bad things, i learn wt's love......somehow i dun like my parents being that strict and annoying....actaully i got lots of fun already.....i'm playing while my parents are working hard....why not i cherish.....why i still want more and more.....why i never satisfy..coz i'm not a child....somehow i like children, coz i can find their pure hearts...just like when i was a little gal.. my sch results were not gd since I was F.2...and I repeated,I never thought that I would be a gd student coz no one will think so! hence, i never put any effort in it....so i didn't hv a gd impression in teacher's eyes...ya...everyone said i'm clever and smart, but i was too lazy....and so , i just use my "little clever" to face any examinations, hoping that my "little clever" can help me to pass any of them...not only for sch...but also for my viola ....I never practise my viola...and always escape from the lessons..my attendance% was pretty low....i just played the viola the day before my examinations...yet, my "little clever" always help me to get the highest marks.. I just took out all the viola stuffs...and i found that i got few certificate of merit...the comments that different teachers gave me was"she's a clever gal, smart, she's a talent of music..."etc....may be,i got talents....may be...but so wt, i left them all behind.....may be i could get gd results at sch if i put effort...but so wt, i didn't.....i just hea my life....doing nth.........thinking to gain without pain all the times....................................................... i finished my AL.........honestly....i didn't put 100% effort in it.........but i did reli put effort in it...though not full...i dunno wt my way will be........university? work? or develop in other aspect? no idea at all at this moment, i just hope everything will be fine , and God will always be wif me...so i shouldn't be worried....hope so.... i thanks mum for giving me chances to learn different kinds of things....music, art, sports...i thanks her for bringing me to a gd school, if not, i bet i will be even more useless now.... I m finding my way, and i hope i can be a better woman..... |
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